My Unborn Child Lives

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Go Dutch

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Sebastiaan Bremer: Dutch artist, New York inhabitant, likes to splotch

Eat. Pray. Lulu.

Well, I've recently uncovered a new obsession.  No, it's not Zumba or WikiLeaks.  It's better.  Lululemon Athletica ie the makers of the yoga pants that make your "butt look good".  Yah, I know, I've sold my soul to the vanity Gods, trend Gods, and those love-to-hate energetic pep-in-their-step long-n-lean Gods.  Sorry, guys, I'm hooked.

For some time, I've walked past the Lululemon store and seen packs of women all tucked and snug in their yoga booty bottoms, pony tails swaying, carrying those luscious, pop-art re-usable bags filled with all types of goodies.  I swore to myself that I wouldn't surrender to their spandex sorority...until I found myself wandering into the store just to settle my curiousity.

I give the employees of this store major credit.  No one wants to work in a place where they have to tell women that they "may want to go up a size".  Critiquing women in spandex is about as gruesome as the jobs that garbagemen, telemarketers, and sewage plant operators face.  However, I began to appreciate their honesty and altruistic plight to make sure I had the right pair of bottoms that I was surely convinced  would help me stop world hunger single-handedly.

Well, 12 pairs of pants piled on the floor and almost two hours later, I had to force myself to leave unless I wanted to start looking for a part-time job to pay for a major incurring debt on my credit card. I cheerily received my bag with two pairs of wonder pants kindly folded inside and bounced my way out of the store, a click in my heels and a fling of my pony-tail. "Dear God," I thought, "What is in these pants??!" Well, it's not a sin, rather their signature Luon (tm) fabric, designed with all the tush technology to make you justify the pricetag.  They felt amazing and above all, I felt like I was walking on the Stairway to Health Heaven.  It wasn't just about the way they made me look, but the way they made me feel.  Is that enough cheese for you out there? I hope so, because there isn't much more where that came from.

Lululemon is a company that markets a lifestyle based on positivity, health, and overall well-being in a non-exhaustive, savvy way. People like them because of what they represent, the goodness that they bring and the positivity that they promote.  Sounds just like your favorite frozen-yogurt establishment, huh? Well, that's another healthy obsession of mine- and my backside thanks both of them.

Put the birth control to bed

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This is what happens when I reintroduce myself to television.  9 by Design on Bravo follows the design team Cortney and Robert Novogratz and their company Sixx Design. Sprinkled with 7 children, they are the hipster VonTrapp Family, with design being their melody. If a photo of Johnny Cash replacing a baby [insert your favorite, fuzzy farm animal here] in the nursery isn't hipster enough, well, I don't know what is....

Attn Ballerinas: FML

One day, I hope to come back as you.